While “Gladiator” and “Battlefield Earth” were raking in some big-time cash, and “Center Stage” was taking a well-deserved flop, a quirky little comedy called “Screwed” entertained the few people willing to take a chance. Unfortunately, its lack of quality prevents the film from doing much else.
“Screwed” opens as Willard Filmore (Norm Macdonald) devises a scheme to get out of his nowhere job as a butler for the wicked Virginia Crock, played by Elaine Stritch. His wonderful plan entails sneaking into the Crock household with his buddy Rusty (Dave Chappelle), abducting her precious dog “Muffin” and ransoming the canine for a million dollars, which the rich old hag will certainly pay.
Of course, these two buffoons louse the whole thing up so bad that Mrs. Crock believes Willard has been kidnapped and is being held for five times the original ransom demand. From here, the plot goes from outlandish to just plain stupid. Fortunately for the creators of the film (and more so for the audience), the plot is rather insignificant. Watching “Screwed” is just an excuse to laugh at some mindless situation comedy.
The primary defect of “Screwed” is it’s total lack of reality. The premise is so totally unbelievable and the plot twists and big events so utterly far-fetched that they probably couldn’t happen even in a movie. The writing/directing team of Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski ignores even the most rudimentary facts about society and life. “Screwed” has the look of a movie that was shot in a week and produced in a day.
This picture is especially disappointing when one considers how entertaining each of the characters could be in a sketch comedy routine. Stritch’s performance as the crotchety old bitch is pretty good. She doesn’t have an ounce of compassion, and seriously hates anybody who is somebody other than her. Sherman Hemsley (stop laughing) gives an amusing turn as Crock’s assistant, Chip Oswald, who turns the whole situation to his advantage. Daniel Benzali portrays a cop who is so vacuous that even the Bakersfield PD would probably have reservations about giving him a badge and a gun.
Trying to figure out why Danny DeVito shows up as a mortician who has an unhealthy obsession with Jack Lord is like trying to figure out why Sandra Bullock actually showed up to the taping of “Speed 2.” It doesn’t make any sense, so just move on and try to forget about it.
“Screwed” suffers the worst fate a comedy can: funny people (Macdonald, Chappelle) in the same room with idiots (Alexander and Karaszewski). Everybody who sees this picture is gong to laugh. Don’t pretend it’s not funny just because it’s stupid. However, anyone who finished the fourth grade will recognize that “Screwed” is a juvenile romp from one side of vapidity to the other without stopping off anywhere decent on the way.
Runner@csubak.edu